
I suppose when we ask of God our desires (if we even dare have them anymore) you tell Him what is in your heart, the initial feeling is "God please give me this and that, it would make me so happy." Sometimes we get it, and sometimes not. If you usually go on your way and try and make yourself content with the "not" and do not continue the dialogue with God, eventually your conclusion will be to have no desire is better than to have it because it will be too painful to keep it around. So you hang around in your existence and repress who you are and what you are (what you desire) and eventually you will lose your very personhood, your uniqueness. Until one day you find you don't even know what you want. Maybe you start leaning on morality and right answers to dictate who you are exactly. Then you find you are unhappy, you don't know who you are, then you lose self-esteem because you don't have anything to offer, or so your mind believes. Deep inside there begins a fight, and frustration and depression set in. What confusion, what sadness. What malice our hearts and souls face while we sojourn here. You are much opposed. All the times. You know that deep inside you are just as unstable as King David. He had a desperate need. The difference is he wasn't embarassed to show it. He was honest. And we must dare to be such if we are to truly live.
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